


I'll Pretend Like I'm Resting

by DefaltManifesto



Series: Kiss The Sky [6]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Cuddling & Snuggling, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-27 20:01:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12088329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: “Aw fuck. Didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Flash says. He wipes his drool away and looks up at Peter with sleep-fogged eyes. “You good?”





	I'll Pretend Like I'm Resting

**Author's Note:**

> The final part of the series based on the 'conversations you have laying on someone or someone laying on you' theme. Based on a lyric from Kiss The Sky by Machine Gun Kelly. Title taken from the same song. 
> 
> This is the 'original' interpretation, which I didn't realize was what I wanted to be writing until I had written all the other interpretations. This was what I was going for when I first wanted to write something based off that verse.

[The tumblr](http://schizzar.tumblr.com)

 

Peter’s eyes twitch at the sudden volume increase as the television transitions from whatever Flash was watching to a commercial, coming closer to wakefulness in the process. He’s been drifting somewhere between the realm of sleep and consciousness for the last few hours, too content under Flash’s warm weight to do much else. These quiet moments of peace are still few and far between. Juggling being Spider-man and reporting for the Daily Bugle _and_ taking night classes at the local community college is far from easy.

It’s been two years since Gwen died, but the grief still sabotages his day sometimes too. Moments like these though, with Flash in his arms and their shitty A/C buzzing in the window to beat back the sticky city heat, that sadness doesn’t sting the way it used to.

His eyes slide open and he looks down. Flash is asleep, drooling a little on Peter’s bare chest which should be gross but Peter just finds it endearing. When they’d first fallen into bed together, Flash had been all about bullshit posturing, trying to keep his dominance in their interactions even though Peter couldn’t possibly care less. Now, he’s comfortable enough to look stupid and not worry about it.

Peter reaches down and scratches his fingers through the short prickly hairs at the base of Flash’s skull. Flash shifts and makes a soft noise before going still again. It was something that had taken Peter by surprise, Flash liking the soft and random exploratory touches Peter gave him whether he was asleep or awake. They don’t talk about Flash’s dad, but it’s been obvious from the beginning that Flash isn’t used to positive physical interactions.

Of course, there’s a reason Peter likes it too. To say he had abandonment issues would be the understatement of the year. No one had abandoned him purposefully, but that didn’t change the fact that when it came to his friends and family, more of them were dead than alive. Feeling the warmth of Flash’s skin and the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed was the easiest way to calm his chest as he breathed was the easiest way to calm his own nerves. Some times, after a particularly rough fight, he’d crawl into bed and map out every inch of Flash’s body until the panic stopped choking reason from his brain.

The first time it happened, Flash had shoved him away and asked if he’d lost his fucking mind. Then he saw how bruised Peter was and it seemed to click. Later, once they’d both slept and in the clarity of the day, Peter explained with embarrassment what was wrong with him, which led to a longer discussion of Peter’s mental health. They’d fumbled their way through that one. It wasn’t like Peter could go to a fucking therapist after all, so instead, they’d agreed that Peter could touch him all he wanted just as long as he didn’t mind Flash staying asleep.

After the first few times, Flash got a weird look on his face the next morning. When Peter had questioned him, he’d stammered out some excuse before fleeing the apartment and going for a run. Once he returned, Peter cornered him again and Flash finally admitted that he’d woken up the night before and realized he’d felt safe with Peter’s hands on him and for a moment, he didn’t hate his body. That had led to some vigorous sex over the kitchen counter, and later a discussion about Flash’s mental health. They pooled their resources together to afford a therapist. Apparently, he had body dysphoria to some extent, some sort of misdirected hatred towards his body for hurting instead of the person who hurt it.

Thinking about it makes Peter’s chest ache so he cuts that train of thought short. There’s time to worry about those issues. He doesn’t want to ruin a lazy afternoon worrying about it. It’s rare that they both have time to doze off together for multiple hours. Peter slides his hand down Flash’s back, tracing the defined muscles.

Flash sometimes made comments about how no matter how buff he got, Peter would always be stronger than him. Peter just pointed out that he was doomed to always be scrawny. It didn’t matter how much he worked out, he never bulked up from it because human weights were too light and bench-pressing garbage trucks drew unnecessary attention. Besides, Peter likes the way Flash can make him feel small. He spends way too much time feeling too big for his skin, especially when he gets the shit kicked out of him in a way that would leave anyone else dead.

The first time Flash topped him, Peter had cried. It was a little after they decided to move from fuck buddies to an actual relationship and Peter hadn’t ever done something that had left him feeling so vulnerable. He hadn’t known he’d feel that way of course. It took them both by surprise and it was only after repeated reassurances that he was fine that Flash continued. Peter still cries sometimes, but he’s not embarrassed by it anymore. He’s allowed to be weak sometimes, and he doesn’t have to feel that way on his own.

Every once in a while, Flash asks Peter to be rough with him. The first attempt had resulted in both of them freaking out for entirely different reasons. At Flash’s first gasp of pain, Peter felt himself staring down a crumbling clock tower and later Flash admitted he saw his father’s face. For a while, that was the end of it. In the end, they sucked it up and went to talk to Flash’s therapists, fudging the details about where Peter’s issues came from. That had opened both of their eyes up to the wonderful world of BDSM, or more importantly, the importance of negotiation before the act instead of just going with the heat of the moment.

Neither of them had any interest in the more adventurous side of things. Flash got what he wanted just fine in their heavily thought out scene. What he wanted more than anything was to be fucked hard enough to feel it the next day and to carry bruises in the shape of Peter’s hands for weeks. It bothered Peter at first but well…

Now he feels a possessive, protective rush when he sees the marks poking out over the top of Flash’s sweats.

“Aw fuck. Didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Flash says. He wipes his drool away and looks up at Peter with sleep-fogged eyes. “You good?”

Peter nods as he yawns. “Yup. Missed this. I don’t think we’ve just hung out in weeks.”

Flash wrinkles his nose up. “Shit you’re right.” He lays back down, arms stretching up to wrap around Peter’s neck. “At least the semester is almost over.”

“Oh yeah. Then he get a whole three days before fall semester!” Peter says with a mock enthusiasm.

Flash pinches his side. “We can do a lot with three days.”

“We don’t have to though,” Peter says, tracing the curve of Flash’s ear with his fingers and smiling when he shivers. “I’d be happy with three days of days like today.”

“You fucking sap.” There’s no real heat to the words.

“Yeah, but you love it.”

Flash sighs and smiles. “Yeah…yeah I do.”


End file.
